The Connector
The Connector
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Photo by Courtney Carmody (Creative Commons)

Is the lack of creativity on date night cramping your hipster style? I understand your struggle. Here are some date ideas that Zooey Deschanel herself would approve of.

Play ding dong ditch:
Do you hate your neighbors? Of course you do, they’re awful. Get back at them for every noise complaint they ever sent your way by taking your date to indulge in some good (albeit immature) times. Be sure to celebrate your success with a pack of Mike’s Hard Lemonade to really complete that “back in high school” feeling.

Drive-in (with costumes!):
Sure, plenty of people still go to drive-in theatres, but I bet you anything they’re half-assing it. Kick things up a notch by dressing up like you’re in the ‘50s! Wear a poodle skirt and sport a high ponytail or don a leather jacket with slicked back hair. Still not ~*EcCeNtRiC*~ enough for you? Take things a step further by pretending you and your lover have traveled back in time and agree to stay in character the whole night. Gee whiz, I bet you and your baby will have a neato time!

Get drunk and go to a playground after hours:
Playgrounds are the best but they’re almost always infested with pesky children who are crying and pooping their pants (or whatever kids do.) Going to the playground at night eliminates the unpleasantness of having to deal with other human beings. You and your date can compete who can jump the farthest off the swing set or improve your grip strength by having a go at the monkey bars. Insist that you and your date go down the slide at the same time to have an excuse to get your paws all over them. After polishing off your flasks, be sure to end the night with a passionate make out sesh on the tallest part of the structure.

Have a picnic on a stranger’s lawn:
What’s sweeter than having a nice picnic at the park with your boo? Nothing. What’s more boring than having a nice picnic at the park with your boo? Also nothing. Put a twist on this classic date idea by setting your blanket and basket down on a stranger’s lawn (make sure somebody is home, first!) and proceed as normal. When the poor homeowner inevitably comes outside to ask what you nut jobs think you’re doing on their property quickly grab your belongings and sprint as far away as possible. Because what could be more exciting for an unconventional couple than wreaking havoc on unsuspecting strangers? Yep, you guessed it — nothing.

Hit on other people:
Surely both you and your lover are the epitome of physical beauty, but which one of you has better game? Put your skills to the test by going to your favorite bar and agreeing not to acknowledge each other for the entirety of your stay. Hit on strangers like you did in your single days and compete to see who can get the most numbers. Sure, some poor sop might get their hopes dashed when you never wind up calling but caring about other people’s feelings is totally mainstream, anyways.

Jen Schwartz
Jen Schwartz is the opinions editor for SCAN and the Connector, a writing major and an all-around ridiculous/awesome person.