The Connector
The Connector
daenerys
HBO

Note: Apologies for the lateness on this one folks. Midterms bogged me down too.

It’s official everyone. The majority of “GoT” men in this episode are ridiculous. If they aren’t forcing themselves on their sister, they’re literally having a pissing contest in the dirt. The only ones who seem to have their heads on straight are Tyrion and Tywin Lannister.

That old dude Tywin was slick as can be when he quickly brought the new king, Tommen (another Cersei/Jaime spawn), under his wing and made nice with Oberyn. He wins this episode for “Most Resourceful without a Crown.” Considering Petyr Baelish appears to have had some foreknowledge of the assassination, with the way he got Sansa out of there, he’d be a close second. Still, Tywin takes the cake. If the way Tommen easily followed after Tywin’s lead is any indication, Cersei might never have any real say over her own kids.

I was trying to decide how I wanted to address this next issue, but I’ll just make it very plain. Jaime and Cersei’s rape scene in the same room as Joffrey’s body was unnecessary. First of all, yes, that was rape. The precise moment she resisted and said the word, “No,” it became rape. Nevermind she kissed him first, kissed him back — no means no, ladies and gentlemen. Second of all, it was a pointless scene. It simply served as a piece of shock value to further underscore the grossly twisted nature of Jaime and Cersei’s relationship. But we didn’t need to see him rape her to know that. Or perhaps they were trying to connect the dots between Jaime and Joffrey as true father-son because they both treated women horribly? (Nope, still didn’t need a rape scene to know that.) It came off as pure shock value and, ultimately, that gets awarded “Most Unnecessary Scene” of the episode. There were other ways to go about the scene (like not having it) and still be able to show how messed up those two are.

Oh crap, you really don't know anything, Jon Snow. HBO
Oh crap, you really don’t know anything, Jon Snow.
HBO

In other news, a villager was looking forward to eating potatoes with his family — and then the cannibal nation attacked. Those Thenns are some of the creepiest characters yet on “GoT.” While they advance on Castle Black, it’s just now occurring to Jon Snow that he needs to do something about those mutineers from last season because he lied to the Wildings and said Castle Black had 10,000 men when they don’t. And the mutineers know that they don’t. Oops. In a way, it did seem a bit out of nowhere that the mutineers are now a problem. It’s almost like, “Hey, we need to create an ‘Oh crap!’ moment for Jon to make it interesting. Let’s use those dudes who went wild!” Shameless conflict plugging for the sake of conflict isn’t cute.

You're a good man, Podrick. HBO
You’re a good man, Podrick.
HBO

However, it’s Tyrion and Pod that win for “Best Scene” and “Most Heartbreaking Farewell.” It was truly touching to see such bravery and loyalty between the two of them. Westeros hasn’t seen the likes of loyalty since Eddard Stark was alive. Despite the fact that he’d likely be killed for not testifying against his lord, Pod still refused to do it. He sacrificed a title and elevated status in the castle. And instead of being thankful for it, Tyrion was upset and concerned for the young squire’s safety. It was touching. “Pod! There has never lived a more loyal squire.” There are so many warm and fuzzy feelings in that scene.

All the while, not much else went down with our “GoT” ladies. Our girl Daenerys officiated a pissing contest, gave another rousing Valyrian speech and threw some broken chains at people. (She’s certainly moving up in the world.) Arya convincingly pretended the Hound was her dad in front of strangers. Margery pouted over having another dead husband. The ladies receive the “Not Much is Happening” Award. The focus was mainly placed on the shortcomings and the interactions of the men, in this episode. I suppose next episode we’ll see about Tyrion’s trial and we’re due to catch up with poor Theo — I mean — Reek.

Arielle Antonio
Arielle Antonio is Editor-in-Chief of The Connector and SCAN magazine. She is a junior BFA graphic design student, passionate journalist and foodie who lives off of Hot Cheetos, coffee and steak.