The Connector
The Connector
Illustration by Nathan Pinney.
Illustration by Nathan Pinney.

Hello, everyone! It’s Kate Betts again with our next installment of Writer’s Corner! This nonfiction piece is “Make Love and Peace” by Darissa Townes.

Make Love and Peace

By Darissa Townes

It took the distinct sounds of rhythmic grunting for me to realize that my neighbors weren’t crying over some soap opera in the early hours of the morning.

At first, I found it humorously unlucky. The pair was already famous for being some of the loudest talkers on the whole floor. You could hear them whooping and hollering all the way from the elevators. And now the lovely couple was partaking in one of humanity’s greatest pleasures. Unfortunately for the rest of us on the floor, it often meant sacrificing one of the other great pleasures of humanity: sleep.

When living in any kind of college-run building nowadays, the sounds of other peoples’ sex lives are just one of those things that you’ll hear. Responses tend to vary between putting on your headphones to drown out the racket and actually confronting the source.

Now, I was never the confrontational type. “Love and peace” was always my motto. I figured that I could take the easy way out and just wait for something else to happen. Maybe someone would be bold enough to knock on the couple’s door. Maybe the couple would break up. Or maybe someone would slip a note under their door.

Or maybe they’d do nothing. Maybe I’d just lie awake on my bed at two in the morning, counting down the precious hours until my alarm goes off to wake me up for my 8 a.m. class. Meanwhile, the happy couple would fill the hallways with their passionate moans for the sixth time this week.

After an especially loud session during Easter Weekend, in the middle of the day at that, I accepted that no one else on my floor would be willing to put an end to the couple’s caterwauling, leaving “Love and Peace Darissa” to rain on their big and frequent parade.

I could’ve gone old-fashioned and introduced my fist to a wall to make them stop. But alas, I’m an artist, so creativity is my lifeblood. I whipped out a piece of paper and carefully wrote down a little poem in big letters. I slapped some tape on the edges and stuck it right in front of the elevators before any of the residents could see me. I would be completely anonymous, yet my message would reach everyone.

Even after the note was unfortunately taken down by the custodian two days later, I wouldn’t hear a pleasurable peep from the pair for more than a week and counting.

It’s funny, I almost feel bad … but sound sleep is just too good.

 

To the Lovely Couple down the hall,

With your sex time free-for-all,

Please be courteous to other floor guests.

Keep it down, we need some rest!

Thanks and Happy Easter!

Kate Betts
Kate Betts is a staff writer for The Connector. She is an undergraduate writing major with an obsession with "Once Upon A Time" and her adorable gray kittens.