By Gray Chapman
There really isn’t another word to describe the many wares of Richard’s Variety Store besides, well, varied. People who wander in from the nondescript exterior may ask, “Is it a toy store? Book store? Weird iron sculpture store?” It’s really more of an “everything store,” with an emphasis on the quirky and hilarious.
The store is so overwhelming that it’s not uncommon for unsuspecting newcomers to wander for an hour or two, drifting from the barrel of magnetic rocks (“Look! I made a rock bracelet!”) to the nostalgia-inducing toy section. Richard’s isn’t exactly a one-stop-shop place — unless you’re on a mission for those awesome Wind-Up Hopping Lederhosen.
Take your time to browse the aisles, because each shelf is more surprising than the next. When you do finally wander over to the toy section, though, be prepared to lose all sense of time. You’ll be surrounded by all the classics — Tinkertoys, Playmobil sets, Slinkies, Silly Putty, jigsaw puzzles, Breyer horses — you name it. Who needs a Wii when you have a hula hoop or a cap gun, anyway? And the classic Easy Bake Oven will have you abandoning the Hub in no time.
The extensive selection of random, hilarious knickknacks and gag gifts is reminiscent of the toy section at Urban Outfitters, but better. Richard’s is the perfect place to buy gifts for friends, whether it’s a rubber chicken, bacon strip bandages or a pack of adhesive mustaches.
Richard’s also features an eccentric book selection — some old, some new and some from indie publishers that you’d be hard-pressed to find at the local Barnes & Noble.
Perhaps the most popular section of Richard’s is the greeting cards aisle. It seems Richard’s cards cover every occasion, many spiked with a double-dose of inappropriate humor. SCAD students will enjoy the art history-inspired cards, which feature well-known paintings with dastardly captions. You’ll never look at Rubens’ “Lucinda and Guido” the same way again after reading poor Lu’s take on Guido’s disappointing “performance.”
The haphazard arrangement of merchandise and the endless selection can make Richard’s seem a little overwhelming at times. But as long as you don’t have a shopping list — or any time commitments for the day — you’ll probably love ambling around its spacious new location in Midtown Promenade next to Trader Joe’s. Just be sure to grab a Yodeling Pickle on your way out. Everyone needs one of those.
More information, including store hours and directions, is available at http://www.richardsvarietystore.com.