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“Put molly all in her champagne/ She ain’t even know it/ I took her home and I enjoyed that/ She ain’t even know it,” said rapper Rick Ross in his January single “U.O.E.N.O.” By the end of March, outrage at the lyrics’ implications of date rape boiled and exploded all over the news.Carleton University’s Student Association cancelled Ross’ April 9th concert in Ottawa, Canada. Ultraviolet, a women’s rights group, launched a campaign demanding that Reebok drop Ross as a spokesperson and Reebok complied. Ross defended himself by saying that he never actually used the term “rape.” And of course, he said that he doesn’t condone rape, loves women, yada, yada, yada. Ross has since removed the offensive lyrics from his song.
I wonder if Ross knows what date rape is. Maybe he thinks that rape is only the kind of violent act played out in movies like “The Accused” and “Boys Don’t Cry.” Maybe he thinks that rape is only perpetrated by big, brooding sociopathic criminals lurking in an alleyway, ready to pounce on the first female victim to walk by. One million women in the United States are raped each year, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. Maybe Rick Ross isn’t the only ignorant husband, boyfriend, father, brother, uncle, nephew or cousin out there.
As a woman, I’ve been told over and again to make sure that I don’t dress in sexually suggestive clothing, be a tease, put myself in situation that will lead to my body being violated. These lessons were drilled into my brain at the onslaught of puberty, in every high school gym class, over burrito lunch with my mom and my sister, throughout college and again in a frantic conversation with my mom when I moved into my first apartment. What are men being taught?
I have no doubt that most men know rape is a crime. They’ve heard that “no” means “no.” Do they also understand that coercion with drugs or alcohol is not the same as consent? Do they know that sex with a sleeping or unconscious woman is not consensual sex? Have they been taught that prior sexual contact with a partner does not give them unlimited sex whenever they desire? Granted, rape is a difficult topic to discuss on any level, especially when we consider things like rape fantasies, false rape claims, homosexual rape, rape committed by women and child rape. Nevertheless, the conversation needs to happen with men just as much as it happens with women.
Wait a few more days and our 24-hour news cycle will wash away all of Rick Ross’ issues with song lyrics. While Ross is still in the news, however, I hope we take this opportunity to look at the larger issue at hand. Rape, in all of its forms, is a problem. Ignorance about it prevails. How about we turn Rick Ross’ stupid choice of words from another celebrity tabloid into a teachable moment?