The Writer’s Corner features poetry, essays, short stories, satire and various fiction and non-fiction from SCAD Atlanta students. To submit your own work for the Writer’s Corner, email features@scadconnector.com.
Find Me on the Cover of Vogue by Caitlin Havens
Each day morning meal hour, I step on the scale in the bathroom and watch the needle bounce until it lands on a number. I continue to stare, hoping it will bounce some more, but it doesn’t.
And on Sunday morning, Mom tells us we are going grocery shopping.
“Cait, are you ready,” she asks.
“I need to go to the restroom,” I reply.
So, I go, close the door behind me, and turn the lock so it’s just me. I step back on the scale and it bounces and I stare.
“Ew,” I mutter under my breath.
I strip down to my bare skin and step back on the scale.
“How is that worse?”
The mirror mimics my moves, twisting and turning to mold myself into the perfect image.
At the store, food screams at me. People stare and Mom is walking too slow. I want to throw up. Is there a scale in the bathroom here? “Not unless you want to buy one, idiot.” Shut up. No. “Now, look at the pizza.” No. “Just a glance.” F*** you.
- Carrots
Damn. This is some nasty shit when cooked. But it feels like I’m eating fingers when they are raw.
“Cheetos.” No, it’s carrots. “But Cheetos are a better snack.” I can’t. “You’ll never be the size you want. Just forget about the carrots.”
For a moment, I think. My sister runs into me.
“Move! Why are you just standing there,” She asks?
And without thinking, the carrots are back on the shelf. - Spinach
Okay, I’ll go through with this one.
“Ha.” Now what? “Spinach? The vegetable that rots in your fridge after 3 days.” Well, yeah, but it’s good for us. “You’ll only make things worse.” Why? “This is different, change isn’t good. This one is. Why do you care? Your stomach will always look like a rock and feel like gelatin.” I leave the spinach alone. - Tomatoes
“You’re still trying?” Of course. “Alright, you always have been stubborn. But you know the chocolate your mom just got will be calling you late at night. So, tell me no. And you must not know me at all?”
But the tomatoes made it in. - Avacado
Ewwwww.
Ewwwww.
I’m glad we can agree on something. - Zucchini
I grab a couple, then put one back.
“You think you’ll finish all that?”
I grab three more.
“B****” a******. “Fat a**.”
I put two more back. - Oreos
“Ohhhhh f*** yeah. Now you’re talking.” I didn’t say anything. “You’re thinking it.” No. “Yes.” No.
“You deserve something.” There’s stuff at the house. “But is that what you want.” Not always. “Get
them.”
I pick a small pack and figure I can share with the family- “Yes but you know you won’t.”
I put the pack back on the shelf.
Dialtoneyellscreamsbeepchatterthesoundofcellophanesqueakycartsscreamsneezebeepyellingchildrednbeepsqueakycartbeepyellscream
Silence.
“To go,” Mom says.
“What?”
“I said, are you ready to go?”
“Uhm,” my tomatoes and two zucchini stares back. No. “Yes,” I reply.
At home, I tell everyone I’ll get the bags. The extra walking will help me burn some calories.
And back in the bathroom, I strip down once again. I twist and turn and look at my stomach.
Nothing changed. I think I lost a little. “I think you gained a lot.”
The scale confirms nothing. I’m the same as before.
What? “How did you not gain anything? You were so lazy.” How did I not lose anything? I haven’t eaten and I walked around all day. “Ugly.” Ugly. “Fat.” Fat. “Worthless.” Worthless.
2 AM. That’s what time it was when I decided I want to work out. “You should have started last night and not stopped.” - Squat
I stare at myself in the mirror while I do it. “Flappy a**.” You’re motivating me. “Firm a**.” - Sit-ups
I push through the pain and pressure on my back. Get a towel or a blanket and put it beneath me. “I mean come on, do you really think this will do anything?” Doesn’t hurt to try. - Jumping Jacks
I did one and shook the floor. “Haha! You’re killing me now.” Good. “Oh, come on, let’s just lay down. You know, before you fall through to the lower level.”
You’re a pig.
“Look in the mirror. There’s no one else here but you. You are the pig.”
I wake up on the floor.
What happened? “We’re both pigs.”
Did I lose anything? “C’mon.”
Will you ever be supportive? “Maybe.”
Do you love me? “Absolutely not.”
F*** you. “F*** you.”
I look back in the mirror. It’s still just me here. My nose is pressed against the glass and it fogs
around my mouth. My finger jabs into my reflection. My nail pushes back and the glass caves in.
“F***. You.”
And what do you know, but that asshole trapped in glass said it right back to me.
