Why I left: former student Chad Morelock reflects on his unfinished first year

Nearly 15 years after withdrawing from SCAD Savannah, former student Chad Morelock offers his reflection on his unfinished first year and advice for students struggling with their first time alone in a big city.

What year did you attend SCAD, and what was your major, if any?

My name is Chad Morelock, and I attended SCAD during the Fall quarter of 2006. I did not have a declared major but was leaning heavily toward either film or sequential art.

Why did you choose SCAD?

My interest in SCAD was piqued by a booth that SCAD had set up at my high school’s college and career fair in my sophomore year. I had been drawing comic strips, getting really into expressionist film and surreal animation and making student films with my friends and everything about SCAD sounded amazing to me. I got more information and it seemed like a good choice. In addition, my sister had recently moved to Georgia (though she was outside Atlanta. Having lived in California my whole life to that point, the geography of the state and how distant Atlanta and Savannah were from each other escaped me).

What were your reasons for leaving?

I ended up leaving for a few reasons. I don’t think I had adequately prepared myself for the transition to living on my own. I didn’t have a roommate or anyone I knew to keep me accountable and I was not used to having to meet new people or be somewhere without friends or family. I had difficulty navigating the city and bus schedule. I don’t think I knew of all the resources I had available. Keep in mind: this was several years before smartphones were available — I had to navigate via a map I had printed. Eventually my sleep schedule got messed up and I stopped going to class. I don’t feel I really met enough people to have a support system on campus. I got discouraged and sort of collapsed in on myself and toward the end of October I just sort of figured I had messed up too much to salvage my grades. I might also have assumed I was going to get kicked out for having what must have been failing grades and not attending class, but I never looked up the policies on that.

You mentioned living alone — did freshmen not have to live in dorms for the first quarter in 2006?

As for living alone — I was initially supposed to have a roommate. If I recall correctly, my assigned roommate opted to room with a friend instead and, my 18-year-old self being painfully introverted, didn’t find another. As a freshman I was required to live in a dorm, and I was in either Weston or Dyson. It was one of the ones that was demolished a few years back if I’m not mistaken.

Are you still in the creative business? Which college/university did you end up attending, if any?

I am not professionally in the creative business and work in a retail setting. I do work on creative projects when I find the time. However, I don’t think my artistic skill is developed enough for professional work. I’m still interested in creating independent comics, but my drawing skills are underdeveloped. I’ve been improving lately but I still struggle greatly with anatomy and creating a feeling of motion. I’ve tried twice now to learn to use a tablet to draw digitally but I struggle with it. Writing is really the only skill I have any confidence in. The only artwork I have been paid for was painting a sign for a cafe within an antique mall in my hometown. I made $300 on that minus my materials.

When I left SCAD, I returned home to California and attended Mt San Jacinto Community College for several years to cover general education requirements. I was able to take a 2D design and drawing class there and attempted a photoshop and typography class, but the professor’s attitude was rather discouraging. I ended up getting a Bachelor’s in English from a for-profit online school which I don’t want to name (and which I don’t recommend to anyone, it was a waste of time and money). I later attended the University of New Mexico for a year studying Archaeology but did not graduate. I left after my second semester there to help care for an ill family member, and following that I reevaluated my priorities and decided I’d had enough school for the time being.

I did take an art history course while I was there, so eventually I completed equivalents of the classes I was assigned during my quarter at SCAD.

How were your experiences in your later universities different?

I would say that my later experiences were different and informed a bit by not wanting to make the same mistakes I made at SCAD. When I started at Community College in Spring of 2007, I felt a little bit better prepared by my experiences at SCAD. In some ways I think that was easier for me since the campus was at one centralized location and I liked being able to just park and get to class rather than memorize bus schedules. I grew up in suburban California and I’m very used to driving everywhere. By the time I got to the University of New Mexico, I had endeavored to not close myself off and socially isolate myself like I did at SCAD and found a good community within my residence hall there, though being almost a decade older than most of my friends made for a bit of culture shock.

Is there anything you think you could have done differently?

There is a lot that I could have done differently. I was extremely naive and really had no experience or preparation for living on my own or living in a big city. I also could have done more research into the resources available to me. I was very shy and reserved and if I couldn’t find help on the first look I tended to get discouraged and give up. I wasn’t used to having to put so much effort in. I think I was still very childish when I started at SCAD, and I feel like if I had the benefit of a bit more maturity I might have done better.

For students facing the same problem as you were back then, do you have any advice for them?

The first thing I would say, is not to give up. I got discouraged very easily and gave up. Second, familiarize yourself with your college’s resources for things like mental health, peer counseling, any kind of programs like that can be extremely helpful when trying to manage stress and sleep and those kinds of things. Don’t be too proud to ask for help. My biggest personal issue was a lack of self-esteem and self-confidence. In hindsight I would say, remember: if you got into SCAD, you had to get recommendations. If someone else believed you were capable of making it through, you should believe the same. Kind of corny I guess, but one of my guiding self-affirmations is something I got from a Superman comic where he is assuring a despondent teenager: “You are much stronger than you think you are. Trust me.”

You were at SCAD for a short time, but do you have any good memories of it you’d be willing to share?

I don’t have that many distinct memories of SCAD proper. Time and some of the poor choices I made in my 20’s has dulled some of the memories I did have. I attended maybe two weeks of class total (and maybe two sessions of my Art History class at all). There are a couple that stand out, though: one was my 2D Design professor showing us an impressive drawing he had done with nothing but ballpoint pen. Another that stands out was during orientation I mentioned being from California and someone asked me if living there was like on “The OC,” a TV show I never watched, and I don’t believe anyone has thought about since it went off air. I thought it was so strange that it was almost a non-sequitur. I think I just kind of laughed and said, “I don’t know.”

What makes you decide to reach out to The Connector after 15 years?

I stumbled upon The Connector while I was searching for information on some other topic I can no longer recall. It got me thinking and reflecting about my brief time at SCAD, and I guess I thought that weird little stretch of my life might make for interesting reading. In some sense I feel like I’m probably reaching for some personal closure on that time. Whether I realized it or not I think a lot of my life immediately following my time at SCAD was defined by it; I bore a feeling of failure for not being able to keep up. With my current mindset however, I believe something is only a failure if you are unable to learn from it. So, though I don’t think I’m done learning about art, I think I can safely close the book on my brief time as a SCAD student. I’ve made peace with it.