Are long distance relationships in college as doomed as they’re portrayed in media? We talk to three long distance SCAD couples to find out.
Long distance relationships get a bad rap. Upon its mention, most would shy away from the concept, fearful of the cons that come along with the experience. When will we fit visits into our busy schedules? What should we do to communicate effectively? How in the world are we going to make this thing work?
The truth is, most college students have been in a long distance relationship. According to a study by the Journal of Communication, up to 75 percent of students have been in a long distance romantic relationship during their college career. According to a study by Cornell, at least 25 percent of students are currently in a long distance relationship, with the average relationship having existed for around two years. The study also noted that there were fewer interactions between long distance couples compared to a traditional relationship, but the interactions proved to be more meaningful with longer durations.
SCAD students are no different than other college kids, with many in long distance relationships. These distances stretch from campus to campus, or across the country. The Connector talked to three different long distance couples and asked for their advice on how to make love last.
1. Communication is key.
The number one tip from long distance couples is to communicate, communicate, communicate. Elizabeth Efferson, a second-year painting student, has been dating her boyfriend, Dillin, for the past four years. The pair met at a SCAD summer camp when they were 15 and started dating a year later, despite the fact they lived in two different states. “Communication is by far the most important,” says Elizabeth. “It’s best to tell your partner how you’re feeling, or you’ll feel disconnected. ”
2. Make time for each other.
Although your schedule may be busy as a college student, it’s still important to fit in time for your beau. Izzy Sullivan, a first-year transfer student, suggests that you find something to bond over during your time apart. “Start watching a TV show or something like that together so you’ll feel like you’re doing something together even though you’re far apart,” says Izzy. Other suggestions include having regular game nights and FaceTime dinner dates.
3. Mind the gap.
The distance may seem disheartening at times, but you need to consider the miles and how it can affect you and your relationship. Jordan Guerin, a second-year graphic design student, has been dating her boyfriend for the past two years and has learned firsthand how long distance can impact you as a person. “(You need to) remember to be your own person and maintain individualism,” she says. “It’s easy to create an unhealthy dependency since you miss them and want to be with them 24/7 since they’re far away.”
4. Plan visits.
Regular visits are a no-brainer when it comes to keeping relationships happy and healthy, although it can be harder to fit into a busy college schedule. Elizabeth suggests making a list of things you can do when you’re together again. “When we (made) our list, we added things, like going to the Athens Botanical Gardens and roller skating.”
And when the trip starts to wrap up, make sure to keep your head held high. “When you have to go back home, don’t treat it as a goodbye, but a see you later,” says Izzy. “You won’t be long distance forever.”
5. Forget the haters.
No matter what, people will always have negative things to say about being in a long distance relationship. But when you know your love is genuine, it’s easy to ignore the hate. “Remember that since you’re far away, that doesn’t mean your relationship means less,” says Jordan. “Both of your emotions for each other are the same if they lived next door.”
