I’ve decided to live my life as a hopeless romantic, and I think you should too. Look, I used to be a cynic just like the rest of the world. At the time, I called myself a realist – after all, what are the chances that a person just happens to meet their soulmate on a planet of 7.9 billion people? But recently I’ve changed my tune and I think my reasoning is just as realistic as before. The pandemic put things into perspective for all of us and has forced everyone to reconsider their values. I’ve discovered how much I need to feel like I have someone in my corner, a partner to live life with, especially after realizing just how lonely I really was during quarantine.
To be fair, I don’t blame people for being pessimistic, as the dating scene has changed a lot. But I refuse to believe that Tinder and Hinge are the final, most perfect evolution of humans finding love on earth. Dating apps have scared people out of pursuing genuine relationships, for fear of being “ghosted” or “love-bombed” or whatever new pathology has come up in the dating world. Call me old-fashioned, but whatever happened to putting yourself out there? It all boils down to the fear of rejection and failure.
Rejection has been a thing since the beginning of time, but modern love has made rejection a reason not to reach out in the first place. In the same way that people would rather be lonely than be turned down, it seems like people would rather pursue a short-term fling than a relationship. It all stems from fear of failure, which is only exacerbated by social media. With everyone posting pictures of their partners on every anniversary, it makes sense that many of us feel like it’s not worth it to open up to someone if it only lasts a couple of weeks. That’s where I disagree.
Casual dating has died out, and I think it needs to make a comeback. It used to be the norm to date around and things out before breaking them off and moving on, and there’s something to be said about the flexibility and resilience these interactions build in a person. Relationships teach us to compromise, show us where our priorities lie and increase emotional intelligence. Yes, being vulnerable is scary, but it also makes us braver. Instead of thinking of a short-term relationship as a failure, consider the fact that each new relationship is an opportunity to grow as a person.
Impermanence does not mean insignificance. Just because a relationship does not last the test of time, it does not mean that it was not a meaningful part of your life. I learn more about myself with every relationship, whether platonic or romantic. I appreciate and hold onto good memories, even if I’ve grown apart from the person I made them with. I recognize how hard life can be, and I also know that sometimes it’s easier to make it through when you have a partner to push through with you.
In the end, all we have are the people we hold close. I don’t make a point to ruminate on the hardships, that would put anyone in a bad mood. Instead, I reach out, I make connections, and I try to forge new relationships that make life worth living. If there’s a chance I can spend the rest of my life with someone that makes the world a little brighter, I think it’s worth searching for. If it doesn’t work out, at least I had some fun along the way.
