Netflix’s “Better Late Than Single” Helped Me Grieve
“Your smile is as bright as the Jeju sun,” Jae-yun writes, hunched over a tiny note card, desperately trying to string together the right words. This isn’t his first attempt. He’s been up all night with his friend, Ji-su, who’s aiding him in his mission to explain his overwhelming feelings to his crush. It can’t be too cringey or too wordy, but it has to encapsulate all the words his lips are too afraid to release.
Beyond the island trees lies a luxe villa retreat constructed from what appear to be shipping containers. The hot Jeju sun beams down, complementing the flowers and sprawling fields that stretch beyond it. What happens in this villa, stays here. It encompasses spaces for secret declarations, laughs over savory meals, and places to write love letters with shaky hands. But it’s also there to hold awkward moments, tears, regrets — the good and the bad all stay here.
The interior of this retreat welcomes mid-twentysomethings who have never had a chance at love. They’ve been too focused on work and school to experience the same things many of us experience as teenagers. First kisses, dinner dates, love letters, and heartbreak have all escaped this group. Netflix’s “Better Late Than Single” labels them “eternal singles”. For a week, they will take a leap of faith in the hope of finding their first love.
Contestants are given makeovers to help them feel confident in their journey. This time is less about transforming looks and more about transforming into one’s best self. While one contestant, Sang-ho, is exhausted from an intense workout, another participant, Ji-yeon, is receiving therapy for her unprocessed trauma. Four star-studded Cupids counsel them at the beginning of their journey as well, offering advice on best practices for dating. Comedian Lee Eunji advises participant Yi Do to listen rather than fill the void. Singer Car the Garden tells his fellow “big boy” Sang-ho not to wear unflattering, childish t-shirts. Once the work is done, the participants head into the retreat while their cupids sit back in the studio and watch their journey through first love unfold.
I was immediately drawn to the show’s concept after seeing the trailer. Singles who clumsily meander the dating scene – I connected instantly. As someone who has also never dated, it was refreshing to see a show where people like me weren’t looked down upon but uplifted. In a sea of reality TV shows like “Love Island” or even “Singles Inferno,” where hot, put-together singles navigate so easily from person to person, there’s something special about a show that throws all of that out the window. It’s not about clout chasing, a quarter of a million dollars, or creating the summer’s biggest internet distraction, but capturing real humans going through an authentic experience.
Too often, people who haven’t been in relationships feel the need to be embarrassed or ashamed. It constantly feels like there’s a time limit on relationship milestones. Growing up, I would always hear people talk about sharing their first kiss with someone in middle school, but as a 21-year-old, I’ve never even held hands with anyone. So many thoughts and insecurities race through my head, but while traversing through these ten episodes, I was able to reflect on my past experiences with crushes and feel a little more secure in my unique, very human journey.
Yi-Do: Closure
Before the last day, all participants were granted a “Let It Out” date to get closure on the relationships they formed throughout the retreat. Yi Do, a tall girl with bright pink hair, sits down at a restaurant to wait for her former crush, Jeong-meok. They had a fast progression in their romance initially in the season, but it was abruptly cut short when Jeong-meok started to form feelings for someone else. At that dinner, she let her grievances be known.
Yi-Do’s journey reminded me so much of my own experience. She developed strong feelings that were suddenly cut short by factors beyond her control. As the audience, we see her go through this whirlwind of emotions. She hides her feelings, crying alone in a tucked-away caravan, chooses not to hold Jeong-meok accountable for leading her on when he announces his feelings for another woman, and then slowly reckons with the feelings of heartache. How are you meant to move on when you’re surrounded by your crush, when you were growing love for someone just a day ago, and now have to learn to forget?
In my sophomore year of high school, I developed a crush on an upperclassman. It was this rare experience of someone showing me through their actions that they cared about me. We would text after school and talk even more in the art classes we shared. He even taught me how to play Super Smash Bros. at his house tucked away in the city’s outskirts. I remember the view of his messy art desk and his fluffy brown dog that really didn’t like me. I admired his work ethic and creativity, and still remember when he told me he admired my introversion. That I could be alone and happy with myself. A part of myself that gave me such immense anxiety, that made me feel weird and isolated, he accepted.
I remember my heart racing when I texted him my feelings and the heartache I felt when he ultimately rejected me. It wasn’t even the rejection that intensified the feelings, but knowing that because of elements outside of my control, nothing would ever be the same again. And I was left with questions, insecurities, and immense grief.
It made me so happy to know Yi-Do won’t be left with what I was. Even though it hurt temporarily, all of her questions were answered. She can leave everything in Jeju.
Jae-yun: Self-Discovery
The aforementioned Jae-yun’s journey was equally awkward and full of self-discovery. It was full of unrequited feelings and love triangles – or more fittingly, squares. He had a crush on the giggly and sweet Yeo-myung, while she shared feelings for Jeong-meok. The only one who developed feelings for him was Ji-yeon. She was willing to accept his clueless but charming, awkward side. All of these complicated feelings were way too much for the introverted Jae-yun to process.
He often mumbled when speaking and struggled to express how he felt. One of his most significant conflicts in the season was when he led on Ji-yeon out of fear of hurting her. Having never dated, he thought it would be better to let a girl down easy rather than explicitly state he had feelings for someone else. Ji-yeon, who initially adored him, grew angry and tired of waiting for an answer that was never coming. My heart broke watching Jae-yun bawl his eyes out that night, knowing he had hurt her.
What was so admirable was that he persevered from that moment. He still had awkward moments, like when he hid in a bush from embarrassment. He still hurt people, but he kept trying. He wrote love letters and got advice from friends. He tried until the very last day to do his best and fully take in this experience so that he could leave Jeju with no regrets.
I saw so much of myself in Jae-yun. Someone who is misunderstood, often too scared to speak, but still wants the same experience as everyone else. Even if he fumbled his way through romance, he was still adored by those around him. They didn’t fully understand him, but grew to love the little bits he was willing to show. He even became a fan favorite among Netflix watchers. His story is a reminder to me and so many others that simply trying is enough. You may not always do things right, you may end up way over your head, but it’s better to experience hardship than to have never tried.
I’ve never witnessed a show where I felt so seen. I saw people who were just as awkward and clueless as I feel. There is something beautiful about the journey of building a connection. It can be hurtful. It can be uncomfortable and leave you scarred, but there is still something worth digging out of the ashes.
Even when I recall my 10th-grade year of high school, it reminds me of so much unhealed pain, but also of a time when I felt free. A time when I embraced friendships and opportunities without fear, when I allowed myself to fall deep for someone, even if it was extremely cringey. It reminds me that I have the capacity to feel that way again. Even though I can feel so paralyzed now, it’s not as impossible as it seems.
There are plenty of others just like the participants in this show. People who have never dated but still long for a romantic connection. For whatever reason, they have never had the chance to feel loved, to have their hearts race with excitement, or even to find beauty in heartache. This show exhibits that there is no shame in that. Jeong-meok wondered if he was hard to love before arriving at this retreat, but he left with all of those doubts dispelled. Everyone is deserving of this experience; everyone is deserving of love.
