By Ashley J. Kauschinger
The beginning a relationship is like the beginning of anything — impossible. I began this relationship in a place of total distance and observation, and he allowed me view him. He always seemed much more understanding of us than I was. Eventually, with the grace of his patience, I slowly allowed myself to get closer to him. I became seduced by his skin. I discovered how it felt to run my hand over the arc of his shoulder blades. I found what it feels like to breathe heavy into another person’s chest, and be afraid when they bleed.
During this slow process of fear and discovery, we began a collaboration of picture making. This series depends on an evaluation of honesty. Denial cannot exist. I can’t lie. In a lot of ways, I tell him how I feel through the photographs that I take of him. It is reflected through the lens or gaze. It becomes another element of our relationship and a tool of communication between us.
The series goes on to deal with two people in a place of in-between from adolescence to adulthood. We are lost children who have found each other and are trying to learn what love means and what life means, simultaneously. It is like constantly living inside of the moment and predicting what the moment after will be like.
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photo column
