OK—I admit it. Sometimes, the being-single thing gets to me. Like when I’m standing in the wine aisle at Publix, examining my options, and a hand-holdin’, starry-eyed pair come up to do the same thing. Or when I’m perusing Scoutmob’s latest “Hand-Picked” feature for two and wishing I could find someone to go to the super cool art gallery opening or music and dinner experience. I mean, I could probably talk one of my friends into it, but that can be so much work. There is definitely something appealing about the idea of a go-to person for outings such as that.
Of course, most of the time I am too busy to care—so busy, in fact, that I am thankful that I do not have someone else depending on me. I am a full-time graduate student (I’m getting my MFA in writing) and a practically full-time nanny. What extra time I do have between homework, school-events, and writerly type things, is usually soaked up by reading the ever-growing stack of books I buy and magazines I subscribe to (because I thought I would have the time), working out or talking myself into working out, spending time with friends, and watching the occasional television series so I can have conversations with said friends. Oh, and drinking. I do some of that, too.
Anyway, the point is, my life is full enough. I am hesitant even to get a pet, though I am constantly stalking the Atlanta Pet Rescue site, because I am scared to be responsible for another life form, but around this time of year, that fear evaporates quicker than my motivation to go to the gym.
This week, friends, is Valentine’s Day.
In truth, the whole period from Thanksgiving to this lovely day in the middle of February is meant to be full of yummy food, cozy fires and lovey-dovey-ness. The number of potential things for couples to do skyrockets, and the rest of us are left out in the cold. Literally. And I don’t like being cold. If it were up to me, I would spend my winters hibernating in the caves with the bears.
The world does not shut down for the winter, but luckily it does have some redeeming qualities. I do love the holidays, with all their lights and colors. Snow can be fun, for a day or two (not for a week). I love dark beers—chocolatey coffee stouts and such—and red wine, both of which seem quite suited for winter. So there are some good points, but most of them are still better when enjoyed with a significant other.
So that brings us to Tuesday. Valentine’s Day. Last year I was sick and was thus able to ignore it altogether, without even realizing I was doing so. This year I am completely healthy (knock on wood?) and am pretty committed to watching the Nick at Nite Valentine’s Day special and drinking a glass or two or four of wine. I’ll probably have a couple of fellow revelers, which will be nice, but I am determined for this not to turn into one of those TV specials of bitter women who hate males. I do not hate males, I just hate the ones I’ve dated (KIDDING), and I’m not bitter. It’s hard not to joke about it though. Sometimes you’re walking through Publix with another single friend, and you feel the urge to slap the heart-shaped balloon as you pass the holiday display. It’s OK—it’s just a little fun.
As I said, I am determined for this not to be a bitter fest. And here’s why. I had one of those epiphany moments earlier today at work. I’m a nanny, which is perfect because I get the hugs and the butterfly kisses AND get to go home at the end of the day to a quiet, non-demanding apartment. But I love my job, and my girls, and they reminded me today that this type of love is important too.
The youngest (she’s 19 months) recently learned to say “I love” about things she loves: Momma, Daddy, Buddy (her stuffed dinosaur—he was the first), and today “I love Ally.”
Now that’s enough to slap the bitter out of anyone.
Love comes in all forms, between all things. It connects us to the world around us and the people around us, if only we let it. My friends and I were talking about our favorite Valentine’s Day memories last night and more than one of us—myself included—went further back than the days of first boyfriends and flowers from guys, to our parents. I remember being woken up on Valentine’s Day when I was seven or eight by my mother and a bear in a heart sweater. When you press his paw, he says “I love you.” I still have the bear.
Maybe there is something to this love-day thing, besides the money it makes Hallmark. So here’s my advice: this Valentine’s Day, whether you have a significant other or not, take some time to think about all the love in your life. It’s there, and it’s worth celebrating.
