With an ongoing pandemic keeping everyone at home, the country is constantly looking to new forms of media for entertainment. Consequently, podcasts are having their time in the spotlight. It’s gotten to the point that everybody and their mother is hosting a podcast, giving listeners a lot of content to sift through on the search for the next fan favorite. I’m here to say that you can stop scrolling and tune in to my latest obsession; ‘Keeping Records,’ hosted by comedians, Caleb Hearon and Shelby Wolstein.
The podcast’s premise is inspired by the 1977 NASA Voyager, a spacecraft containing two golden records featuring a collection of recorded artifacts that aim to represent humanity at large. The records, which include illustrations of the structure of human DNA, whale sounds, and greetings in 55 different languages, were sent as a friendly gesture to any extraterrestrials that may come across the spacecraft, as a way to illustrate the essence of humankind. With their quick pace, playful banter, and knockout guests, hosts Hearon and Wolstein add an update to these original records by asking their friends what songs, images, films, and moments they would want to send into space. Staying true to the original records, the guests are advised to highlight the little things that define the human experience; human feelings, human behavior, human cinema, human ephemera. Guest additions have included laughing until you cry, fail compilations, being hugged by a mom, CrossFit, the moment when you’re not sure if you should shake hands or hug, Bjork, being a tomboy, and seasons one through five of Riverdale.
Having listened to all 56 of the episodes, not only am I a ‘Little Freak,’ the cheeky name for their fanbase, but I also feel like I have a pretty good idea of what I’d put on my personal record. Because I don’t expect to be a guest on the pod anytime soon, or at least until I have a significant breakthrough in the Chicago/LA comedy scene, I have my record listed below. No free clout for the girlies!
- Skipping the rest of your school/work day because of orthodontia (multisensory experience): Universal experience of sitting in the back seat of the car leaving an orthodontist appointment. Your mouth is sore and achy from getting your braces tightened, and you notice the car is headed towards your house, not back to school. Definitely a top ten feeling, it’s the joy of knowing you’ll get to eat ice cream and watch cartoons while everyone else is stuck in social studies.
- All 42 seasons of Survivor (audio-visual): Survivor hits all of the major aspects of humanity all at once. Competitors are willing to be miserable, starving, unshowered, and embarrassed for the chance to win a million dollars. There’s greed, bloodlust, backstabbing, and a series of physical and mental challenges, all with the cringey quality of reality TV. Nothing encapsulates humankind as succintly as this show.
- Getting a headbutt from a cat that was previously standoffish (multisensory experience): Seeing out of the corner of your eye when a cat gets up and stretches, yawns, and looks in your direction. You blink and they have already stomped over to you and are gazing deeply into your eyes. The first thing you feel is their wet little nose pressing your upper lip, and soon enough they are mushing their face into your cheek while they purr. This is an absolute banger of a feeling, because you have gained the trust of a feline, at least for the next twenty minutes or so.
- Driving with the windows down because your car doesn’t have air conditioning (multisensory experience): Preferably, it’s a hot day in early August, somewhere in the midatlantic region where it gets humid in summer. The car, which is ideally a light green Honda 5 minivan, does not have functioning air conditioning, but when all of the windows are rolled down it cools you down just enough to feel relief from the heat. It in no way compares to having actual AC, but the slight breeze and roar of the highway cultivates a vibe that I want the aliens to experience.
- Snuggie (human apparel): Captures the essence of human behavior, the constant desire to be comfortable no matter the circumstances. Whether falling into its embrace when sick with the stomach bug or reveling in its warmth when binge-watching with your beau, there’s a kind of guilty pleasure that comes with the option of being so ethereally comfortable whenever you want. If possible, I would include wearing the Snuggie in public and feeling no shame whatsoever.
