In your early 20s, you would expect most people to party hard and hook up. It’s your first time being unshackled from the grip of your parents, so why wouldn’t you want to go on bar crawls, to college parties, and hope to get lucky while you’re at it? It’s the time to make adult decisions in every sense of the word. But according to recent surveys, none of these activities seem to appeal to the newest generation of adults. The numbers show Gen Z would rather be alone.
EduBirdie conducted a survey of 2,000 Gen Z adults, asking the question “What is more important than regular sex to you?” 67 percent responded that they would pick a solid night of sleep over sex. Many individuals may initially link this trend to the effects of the pandemic. Growing up in an era where you’re forced to stay inside and limit contact with others surely stunted how young people develop relationships. That may be partially true, but this trend actually goes back to before 2020.
Researchers first observed the trend among Millennials. The University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA), has been tracking this trend for years through its California Health Interview Survey, the largest health survey in California. “In 2021, the survey found the number of young Californians ages 18 to 30 who reported having no sexual partners in the prior year reached a decade high of 38%. In 2011, 22% of young people reported having no sexual partners during the prior year, and the percentage climbed fairly steadily as the decade progressed.”
The University of Chicago’s General Social Survey found a similar trend. Three in ten Gen Z males ages 18-25 reported having gone without sex in the prior year. Women abstained even more, with four in ten reporting the same.
It’s quite strange. In an era where people have unlimited choices on dating apps, they are opting not to connect at all. Jean Twenge, a San Diego State University psychology professor, attributes this to what she calls the “slow life factor.” Young people are delaying big milestones like getting their driver’s license, going to college, or moving out. “In times and places where people live longer, and education takes longer, the whole developmental trajectory slows down,” she said. “And so for teens and young adults, one place that you’re going to notice that is in terms of dating and romantic relationships and sexuality.”
Julia Alexeenko, a media analyst at EduBirdie, came to a different conclusion. She says the aftermath of liberation movements, the shift toward online social spaces, and the state of the economy are the biggest factors in this trend.
Compared to previous generations, we are much more educated on sex etiquette and consent. These were concepts that were largely foreign to older generations. Up until recently, the main method of teaching sex education was encouraging abstinence. The best way to prevent harm is to not participate at all. But now the internet and improvements in teaching methods have encouraged more open discussion about these topics. This has helped people know when to say no and be more intentional with romantic partners.
Gen Z also feels less of a need to form in-person relationships. A lot more people are forming relationships online in general. They’re forming relationships over Discord servers and Instagram DMs. “A lot of young people when you talk to them will say their best friends are people they’ve never met,” said Jessica Borelli, a professor of psychological science at the University of California, Irvine. “Sometimes they live across the country or in other countries, and yet they have these very intimate relationships with them. … The in-person interface is not nearly as essential for the development of intimacy as it might be for older people.”
I think the most salient part of Julia’s analysis was the focus on the economy. People are choosing sleep over sex because, as material conditions worsen across the country, sleep is the only thing guaranteed. Dating costs a lot of money and time, and with an awful job market, those are precious resources young people can’t waste. Heavy academic schedules and rising costs have resulted in Gen Z having less sex with fewer partners than previous generations. Following sleep, the EduBirdie survey revealed the next most important thing is a stable job, followed by success, friendships, and alone time. All of these responses show a direct correlation between a worsening economy and isolation.
Even when an individual overcomes these barriers, they are pushed onto dating apps like Hinge and Tinder, which arguably isolate us even further. This organic process of meeting partners and developing romantic relationships has been commodified. Love now comes with a price tag and is marketed to us as a shortcut to unlimited options.
But this change in how we date is not beneficial to younger people in any way. Sure, you hear success stories, like New York City Mayor Zohran Mamdani meeting his wife on Hinge, and think maybe you’ll get lucky too. But those stories are the exception, not the rule. If you’ve ever downloaded one of these apps, you know that, if anything, it makes it more difficult to sort through people’s intentions and find a suitable partner. Instead of being encouraged to congregate in physical spaces, develop new hobbies, and find partners that way, we’re told the best option is to scroll endlessly through a depressing catalogue of the most unserious people. And if it doesn’t work out for you, it’s not the app’s fault; it’s because you didn’t pay for the premium version.
Even Gen Z’s strong tendency to gather in other online spaces to make friends is a reflection of that same thing. There are not many options presented to us for connecting with others beyond work and school. There are no third spaces, or outside spaces that don’t require money, where you can organically meet people. Governments are opting to boost the private sector instead of spending tax dollars on parks or rec centers. But choosing capital over the betterment of the people is the very reason Gen Z’s behavior has morphed into what it has.
Gen Z isn’t prudish. The same EduBirdie results reported plenty of experimentation, public sex, and sexting on company time. We’ve just grown up in a broken world where we are forced to choose between human connection and keeping our jobs.
Lower sexual activity among Gen Z is largely a consequence of capitalist isolation. We have fewer job prospects and less money, which makes dating something we have to work into our budget rather than a natural development. We’re being pushed into online spaces more and more because it fills the pocket of some tech CEO, and we’re delaying these milestones not out of choice but out of necessity. Gen Z not having sex may sound silly on its face, but it’s just one statistic out of many that reflects the devastation of having a government that doesn’t invest in its people.
