Written by Tonesa Jones, staff writer, and Carmen Lehtimaki, contributor
Illustration by Kelsey Mitchell, staff illustrator
Ever wondered how lyrics from the most popular rappers would fare in a workshop with Writers’ Studio? We, too, were curious. So we took lyrics from songs by Nicki Minaj, Iggy Azalea and Azealia Banks and put them through the wringer. Let the hilarity ensue.
Anaconda by Nicki Minaj
Boy toy named Troy used to live in Detroit
Big dope dealer money, he was getting some coins
Was in shootouts with the law, but he live in a palace
Bought me Alexander McQueen, he was keeping me stylish
Now that’s real, real, real,
Gun in my purse, b**** I came dressed to kill
Who wanna go first? I had them pushing daffodils
I’m high as hell, I only took a half of pill
I’m on some dumb sh**
Tonesa
The narrative elements are the strength of this piece. I like how you establish this tumultuous love story between the boy toy name Troy and the speaker. The progression of the narrative to the self-destruction at the end for the speaker is particularly poignant.
I was confused in line six however. When the speaker says “b**** I came dressed to kill,” are we to assume there is an additional unknown party disrupting the relationship between the speaker and boy toy named Troy? Or is the speaker falling into a state of paranoia due to drug addiction? The last line, “I’m on some dumb sh**”, suggests the speaker recognizes her unjustifiable paranoid, but as it is written now, it is extremely unclear.
Carmen
If this is a true nonfiction piece, as the author would have us believe, then I feel that there could be serious problems concerning the law because of her first six opening lines.. This may be something the author would like to consider and possibly change the name of Sir Troy. Also, I feel that she should set the scene more when asking who wants to die first. I picture an interesting Western but this could be wrong. The conclusion leaves me to wonder if any of it was “real real real” because the author refers to herself as dumb after taking “half a pill.”
P***y by Iggy Azelea
Iggy Iggy p***y illy
Wetter than the Amazon
Taste this kitty
Silly Billy poppin’ pilly’s
Smoke it like a swisher
Lick this philly
Mold em ah! Soak em ah!
Hook em like crack, after shock
Molten ah! Lava drop
This should be outlawed, call me Pac
Tonesa
Kudos for using such a provocative title! Much in the vein of Eve Ensler’s “The Vagina Monologues,” the title denotes proud reclaiming of language related to women’s bodies and an open discussion of female sexuality. The title, by far, is the strongest element of this piece.
The body of the piece, unfortunately, does not live up to its title. I think for the most part, you were just turning your wheels to get to the substance of the subject. Your opening line “Iggy Iggy p***y illy” uses colloquial language that is inaccessible or perhaps misused in this context. From my limited understanding of the colloquial use of the word “ill,” I do not think it is denoting positive qualities of the p***y. Also, in line four I was confused by the sudden shift from discussing the p***y to “silly Billy” allegedly abusing drugs. This brief narrative of Billy distracts from the main subject which dissolves into a muddle of conflicting metaphors that compare the vagina to a cheap cigar and crack.
Carmen
I feel that in this piece the speaker is describing a personal illness. Perhaps they have a sexually transmitted infection of some sort. I gather this from the p***y being ill, and the fact that it is “wetter than the Amazon” sounds like something their gynecologist should take a look at. In my opinion, no one should taste any kitties no matter if the speaker is referring to herself or an actual kitten. It is silly for anyone to take unprescribed pills, but it isn’t just by people named “Billy.” Johnnies and Bobbies do it too.
It seems that towards the second half of this stanza she is telling the reader how to use drug paraphernalia. This seems contradictory seeing as how she just said Billy was silly for doing so. I furthermore have trouble understanding why anyone would want to call her Pac. Is this like when P. Diddy had an identity crisis and kept changing his name?
212 by Azealia Banks
Hey, I can be the answer
I’m ready to dance when the amp up
And when I hit that dip, get your camera
You could see I been that b**** since the Pamper
And that I am that young sis, the beacon
The b**** who wants to compete and
I could freak a ‘fit, that pump with the peep and
You know what your b**** become when her weave in
I just wanna sip that punch with your peeps and
Sit in that lunch if you’re treatin’
Kick it with ya b**** who come from Parisian
She know where I get mine from, and the season
Now she wanna lick my plum in the evening
Tonesa
The speaker starts by declaring that she or he is the answer to some existential question that is not addressed at all in the piece, unless that existential question is “can I lick your plum?” The narrative that follows is confusing. I am assuming that lines two and three refer to club life, which is again completely unrelated to this answer the speaker is providing. This speaker also seems to have a crisis of identity. She identifies as “that young sis, the beacon,” but recognizes that she can be seen as that “b**** since the Pamper.” The confusion in the overall piece suggests inner conflict with an Electra complex that is causing the speaker stress about her plum.
Carmen
The author decides to start in medias res, or in the middle of the action. I am left mystified rather than confused as to what the original question was. Why would the author want photos of themselves ‘”hitting dip?” Is this a popular party trick to do at social gatherings that have the “amp up?” I think that in line four, the author should show not tell why she was a “b**** baby”.
